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How to overcome extramarital affairs: A Psychologist guide

Extramarital affairs are increasing everywhere. And in India, it is widespread, particularly in metropolitan urban communities. Because of current culture, films, television serials, media have increased everyone’s expectation about relationships. 

Some basic facts about extra marital affairs:

  • Extramarital is a type of affair, where married couple spend time (more closely) with others man or women.
  • In such relationship, people falls in love with opposite sex. It is one of the common issues in married life and founded by a marriage counselor.
  • Sharing your personal issue with others can be make an emotional connection. And it may be cause of extra relationship between two people.
  • Mumbai-based life coach Amitabh Karmakar explains, “Men and women are wired differently. In case of a woman’s brain, sex and love are wired together, while in men, love means love and sex means sex. They rarely confuse the two. Sadly, the way woman handles an extra-marital affair is troublesome. For them, the affair starts by fulfilling emotional needs and then they start taking them very seriously. Most affairs end due to mismatch of emotional and sexual needs.”

Many people ask us why extramarital affairs happen? In today’s world, life has become very stressful, competent, arduous. Extramarital issues don’t simply occur without any planning. They frequently come from general disappointment, for example, a lack of communication, not spending too much time together. At this point, many people try to have open communication.

The meaning of an extramarital affair is maintaining another sexual relationship outside of marriage. 

In an extra marital affair, people spend time (closely) with other men or women. An affair can proceed for quite a long time even as one of the partners in an extramarital affair passes through marriage, divorce, and remarriage.

Such an extramarital relationship could be viewed as a primary relationship, with the marriage optional to it.

According to many studies, extramarital affair starts from online chatting. 

Here are some question often comes in mind about Extramarital Affair

How to cope up with extramarital affairs?

In some cases, people create emotions towards a third person even they are loyal and faithful to a partner. What’s more, a large portion of the occasions these feelings can be tough to manage or justify, which may eventually prompt extramarital affairs accidentally or purposefully.

Such treacherous demonstrations can bring momentary happiness and yet have to be followed by a wide range of people so that they have to pay the price for their satisfaction and sometimes even their marriage. Also, it may not be challenging to have an extramarital affair when a person realizes their mistakes. Whether you are experiencing a similar situation or are aware that someone is facing an equalizer, if not safe, it has helped a little to improve the way and confess to everyone.

Find the cause of the affair.

Primarily, extramarital affairs are indicative of marital problems. It is now imperative to reveal some of the marriage’s hidden issues that may have prompted the spouse to participate in an extramarital affair.

And most importantly, you should speak to your partner about your affair, try to tell them why it happened, and what you can change after realizing your mistake and giving them time to process it or think about it. 

How to avoid Extramarital Affairs

  • Avoid spending time alone with people of the opposite gender. If you are struggling with the idea of ​​having sex with a particular person, stay away from that person and stay away from temptation.
  • Don’t refuse to act (or disclose) feelings of attraction to someone other than your spouse. Do not share your marital relationship’s details, especially the problem with a member of the opposite sex.
  • Avoid external influences and environments, such as business parties and private lunches, especially where alcohol is involved, encouraging adultery.
  • Make your partner your priority. Talk about problems and issues and work together through them. Get joint counselling to help if needed. If your spouse is angry or not for counselling, go for it yourself. Your spouse may need to soften when he or she sees a change in you.
  • Change your attitude about your marriage. See it as a challenge that cannot be broken. Love grows in a relationship where there is complete trust, respect, and acceptance. Have fun with your partner. Give each other dates again. If you are trying to win that person’s love for the first time, how can you treat that person differently?

How to solve Extramarital Affairs

  1. Explain the reason for the incident. Cases other than forced sexual behavior or personal pathology are symptomatic of a relationship problem. So the fundamental question needs to be unraveled as soon as possible to end the quarrel in the relationship, who needs to take comfort in the arms of a lover.
  2. Think about your history. Transactions run in families. For example, if one of your parents has a love affair, you can model this behavior to meet your needs. Emphasis and direct expression of your will help break the dissemination process of this generation.
  3. The perpetrator must accept the responsibility of having a love affair. If the offending spouse fails to show remorse, the chances of repaying are low. It can also be said if the offender refuses to apologize. The expression of anger alone reduces the chances of healing.
  4. The guilty spouse must accept responsibility for the incident. Because an efficient relationship is often a sign of a stalemate, both sides will most likely contribute to the dynamic to some extent. Only if the victim refuses to accept responsibility can the offender’s anger be averted, and the act of betrayal in the offender’s mind is justified. Unfortunately, many victims are “victims” of this systemic concept.
  5. Every couple should have the opportunity to wait. Most offensive partners want to suppress the discussion of love affairs. However, the aggrieved partner should be allowed at the right time to overcome the feelings, including anger. Time is running out if venting is used primarily as a twisting sheep to humiliate and oppress the offender. The abusive spouse should be allowed to file complaints against the spouse and the marital arrangement.

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